5 days. I’ve been counting the days since there were 166, and now there are 5. The last 161 days have been full of excitement and preparation, so they have actually gone by pretty fast. But now that there are only 5 days left, time has slowed to a crawl and these 5 days will feel as long as the last 161. The hardest part of waiting is the last bit, when I know it’s almost here but there’s nothing I can do do make the time pass any faster.
And then I’m faced with a dilemma: I want to leave RIGHTNOW…but I also want to value the last few days of family, friends, and American toilets. I want to be on my way, but I also want lots of time to say goodbye, because three weeks is the longest I’ve ever been away from everything that’s familiar to me.
So what should I do? Should I bounce off the walls in eager anticipation of the moment when I leave my house and know I’m not coming back for a very long time? Or should I take it slow and make sure I have time to smell the proverbial roses? I guess the best thing to do here would be to find a balance…to take on a bit of both mindsets.
But that’s easier said than done. In my attempts to combine the two mindsets into a well-blended midpoint, I’ve actually found myself alternating wildly between the two. Instead of both, it’s either or. One second I can’t wait to get out of here and finally start the trip that I’ve been waiting for for the past 161 days, and the next second I find myself dragging my feet and trying to hold onto these last few days at home. I can’t seem to grasp both mentalities.
Right now it’s the first one, the bouncing-off-the-walls one. But 5 minutes from now I could be at the other extreme. It’s pretty unpredictable. So I’m still working on finding that balance…and writing it all out is helping a lot. So thanks for taking a minute to read it.