I’m leaving in less than three hours. That’s 174 minutes, or if you wanna get really precise it’s 10,440 seconds.
You know the feeling when you’ve been looking forward to something for months, but when it actually comes you just can’t get yourself to be enthusiastic? Maybe I’m the only one who ever feels that way. But that’s how I feel right now. And I know that deep down inside, I’m so excited I can barely sit still, but in my mind that’s coming across as fear. I just feel like no matter how meticulously I pack, I’ll never be ready. No matter how hard I try to prepare my mind, I’ll never be ready.
I don’t know why I feel this way. Maybe it’s because I don’t know what to expect. When I travel to Costa Rica, where I’ve been four times, I know mostly what to expect and I’m not nearly as scared. But Asia terrifies me because I don’t even have the faintest idea of what things will be like.
I don’t like where my thoughts are right now–all I want is to be joyful and excited, and to bask in God and His presence and His love. I don’t want worries and fears to take away from my purpose on this trip. I don’t want to miss a thing, because I know that this will be an experience to remember. It will certainly be interesting, and some things might be a little weird and maybe scary, but I don’t want that to mess with my mind anymore. I want to rely fully on Him, no matter what. I want this to strengthen my faith and help to draw me closer to Him.
Oh, and on an unrelated note, I signed up for 50/90. That is a challenge where I need to write 50 songs in 90 days. I have from July 4th to October 1st to try to write 50 songs! After doing FAWM, when I wrote 14 songs in 28 days, I’m looking for another challenge. I’ve found that if I don’t have a deadline of some sort, I won’t write. So I gave myself a deadline, and hopefully I’ll complete it! And even if I don’t make it to 50, at least I’ll have tried and at least I’ll have written some. I bet I’ll get a good bit of writing done on the plane ride! One of our plane rides is like 21 hours long!